


for neither ever nor ever goodbye

by quartet



Category: Mission: Impossible (Movies)
Genre: Angst, But a teensy bit of comfort is there, Hurt/Comfort, I Lied It's All Angst, M/M, just a little
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:48:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26096623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quartet/pseuds/quartet
Summary: Bury your thoughts (doubts)And fall asleepFind outI was just a bad dream
Relationships: Benji Dunn & Ethan Hunt, Benji Dunn/Ethan Hunt
Kudos: 20





	for neither ever nor ever goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> Written back in September of 2018 at 2am when a friend demanded some Benthan angst and wouldn't let me sleep until I wrote them some. 
> 
> Now you can too

_ Fold out your hands _

_ Give me a sign _

_ Hold down your lies _

_ Lay down next to me _

_ Don't listen when I scream _

_ Bury your thoughts (doubts)  _

_ And fall asleep _

_ Find out _

_ I was just a bad dream _

  
  


Ethan was terribly relieved to see Benji in good shape and just… there. A physical form standing right in front of him, wearing that same lopsided smile. 

He had the fright of his life when he heard of the scuffle with Lane back in the cabin with Benji being on the brink of death, hanging like a rag doll from the ceiling, face so pale and lifeless. He felt sick at the mere thought of what would've happened if Ilsa hadn't saved him in time. He wouldn't have had the strength to look at the corpse, too much agony to bear and the never ending guilt will awash him and consume him whole.

He really couldn't and he’s thanking all the heavenly fathers and mothers above for sparing Benji’s life. 

He pulled Benji into a fierce embrace which he is taken aback by the sudden movement but once he realized what it was, he softened and returns the gesture. Both men clinging to each other for dear life. 

Tears fell and fears were diminished. The dark gloomy clouds has started to dissipate and rays of sunlight pierced through, bathing them in warm light. Nothing could ever replicate this feeling.

“I’m so grateful for you coming into my life, you know that?” He whispered. He doesn’t know why he’s whispering, no one is around, they were the only two human beings in existence right here in their own secluded space. “I would have been beaten to submission by guilt and anger if anything had happened to you. All my life I’ve spent it running away from dangerous people, criminals and friends alike. I couldn’t trust no one, it was a lonely experience even that I could admit from the beginning,” He sighed. “But you came along, a bundle of hope and enthusiasm. Looking up to me as if I’m your saviour and from time to time I was dreading the day you will betray me. Oh, you wouldn’t know the exact number of times I’ve dreaded but I was wrong to do so. You’re so kind and understanding, eager to help and loyal to a fault. I could search a whole wide universe across different light-years and would never find anyone who could ever replace you.” 

Benji slowly parted away from the embrace and spent a good moment staring at Ethan with sorrowful eyes and wearing a broken-hearted smile. A tear slipped free and dampened Ethan’s outstretched hand that is on his face, trying to wipe it away. He felt a chill came over him as the teardrop moistened his skin, it was freezing. 

“You’re the best thing to have ever happened to me and I will never forget each moment we’ve spent together. You brought excitement into my life and never ridiculed me once. You’ve always believed in me and I you,” He choked on a sob. “I’m so sorry, Ethan. I’m very sorry.”

Ethan furrowed his brows in confusion and felt undenying panic creeping into his mind. “What are you talking about, Benji? What’s wrong? I can help you, we’ve got all the time in the world to help you. Please tell me what is it.” He begged desperately.

Benji heaved a shaky sigh.

“But Ethan, I’m already dead.”

Confusion. 

The dread that finally manifested itself. 

Horror unleashed. 

Before Ethan could even open his mouth to scream Benji’s name, a howling wind swept by darkening the space to almost pitch black and engulfed Benji, blocking him from view and the ear-splitting agony screams of Benji could only be heard. 

He felt very lightheaded and traumatized, he shut his eyes willing it to be over.

Silence.

He opened his eyes to find he was back in his bedroom.  Alone. The ceiling fan rattled on. Birdsong drifted from outside. The sun carefully rising over the horizon and the remaining raindrops from last night’s storm made a pitter-patter sound as it hits the surface. It was a beautiful morning.

Ethan burrowed his face in his hands.

None of it was real. 

He failed Benji. 

And still, time ticked away.


End file.
